The side I never knew
by mia in wonderland
Summary: Bella finally sees the side of Edward that he hates, which leads to a horrible chain of events. Set at the end of eclipse and onto BD how i would like it. rated m for violence at begining!please R
1. nightmare

**AUTHORS NOTE: OK, SO i replaced this and now it is completely safe for ppl to read it, so yea, enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ITS CHARECTERS, THE FAB AND KICK ASS STEPHENIE MEYER DOES.**

The side I never knew

Bella's POV

" I want you, I need you. Now." he whispered in my ear. I laided there with Edwards glistening body on top of me. Did he really just give into me? I asked myself. The thought of it sent of wave of joy through me, but it suddenly stopped when I realized something. That I wasn't ready to have do this, especially if it was going to happen here, in our meadow. I was about to say no when Edwards icy,stone lips crashed into mine. It felt like he put every ounce of passion into it that it made me moan with pleasure and lose my train of thought. But it all came back to me when I felt his hands tightening around my arms and a tinge of pain shoot through them. I winced and Edward broke our kiss, leaving his face inches from mine.

" Edward, could you stop? Your hurting me." I said, but he didn't stop. He continued to kiss me, each one more passionate and fiery than the last. I tried to push him off, but it was like pushing a brick wall, completely useless. While trying to figure out a new plan, I could feel my lungs starting to burn for air, but I couldn't get freed. My eyes went wide as I shrieked against his lips and I finally shoved him off of me. Breaking our kiss, he sat up and looked at me.

" what the hell are you doing?" I screamed at him while I sat up too. He didn't respond. Looking straight at him, I was shocked by what I saw. That the man next to me wasn't Edward or, at least, the one I knew. This Edward had ferocious piercing black eyes and wore a mixture of anger and lust on his face. This was the side of Edward that he always warned me about. The side of him that was a monster, that wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Edward?" I questioned feebly, noticing how weak my voice sounded now that I was truly scared. He snarled in return and pushed me onto the earthy ground, landing on top of me again. I started to kick my legs in struggle, resulting with Edward getting irritated and slapping me in the face, which felt like i was slammed against concrete. One of his hands grabbed my bruised, sore arms and pinned them above my head. With the other he forced my head forward to look at him and slammed his lips into mine. I felt brusies around my wrists from where he was holding. I whimpered in pain as my eyes stung from the tears I was trying to hold back, trying to find a reason why Edward would do this to me. He let go of my arms to pull on my hair, which made me let out a blood curdling scream. He lifted his head and growled in anger, about to slap me when I took the moment and kicked him in the face. He leanded back, which freed my other legs and I started to get up and run as fast as I could. I could feel blood starting to drip down my face from my head. I felt a tinge of pain from my chest, but I couldn't stop running. I had to get to the car. Then I was pulled to the ground and I whipped my head around to see Edward had grabed me by my legs. He looked so evil, smiling at me wickedly. I wiggled my legs out of his grasp and was freed once again. I started to run some more, with more pain. I noticed that with the fall I had got more cuts on my arms. Then the ground rushed to my face, and so did darkness.

Edward's POV

I felt at peace for the first time in many weeks, as if I was asleep, although I knew that was impossible since I could never do so. But still, it was like all my worries and problems just went away. Opening my eyes, I noticed I was in my meadow. I looked around taking in the beautiful scenery and thought it would be perfect if I brought Bella here today.

I went around the tree to be stopped with a horrible sight. Lying on the ground, unconscious, was Bella, my angel, covered in bruises the shape of my hands, tear stains on her cheeks, so many scars covered her and the smell of her blood, dried and dead, surrounding her. Walking towards her, a rush of memories came back. Memories of me taking her here and me wanting her so badly, of me hitting and cutting her while she tried to run from , hurting her for my own pleasure while she was in utter pain, dying slowly. I fell on my knees beside her as I dried sobbed and held her in my arms. There was no way she would forgive me for such a terrible thing I did, something that was possibly worse than me leaving her. All I could do was wish I could go back in time and stop this from happening. I leaned down to her ear, not knowing if she could hear me, and whispered between my sobs

" I'm so sorry my love, for putting you in so much pain. I hope you can forgive me for being such a monster."


	2. tragedy

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK NOW AT FIRST THIS STORY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONLY A ONE-SHOT, BUT I SAW HOW ALL OF YOU GUYS RESPONDED TO THIS AND HOW SOME OF YOU GUYS WANTED ME TO WRITE MORE SO I AM GOING TO TRANSFORM THIS INTO A FULL STORY. AND ALSO I WANT TO THANK YOU GUYS FOR LOVING THIS FANFIC SO MUCH. YOU LIKE ME, U REALLY LIKE ME!*CRIES* SO IM GONNA TRY AND UPDATE SOON(I WROTE THIS QUICKLY SO I COULD POST SOMETHING FOR NOW.). SO FOR NOW I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ITS CHARECTERS, THE FAB AND KICK ASS STEPHENIE MEYER!**

**Edward's POV**

**the sun was starting to set and the temperature was starting to decrease by the time I finally calmed down and think of what to do. I looked down at Bella. She had not woken up yet and I could hear her heartbeat faintly, as if it was getting weaker. I had to take her to the hospital, before the cold night came or I could lose her. But I couldn't just run to the only option was to take her to my house, which was hopefully empty since everyone went out to hunt. I stood up, still holding Bella in my arms, and started to run.**

**Arriving at the house, I opened the front door to see that no one was here. I went straight to my car and put her laying down in the backseat. I turned on the car and sped down the drive and on to the highway, trying to get to the hospital as soon as possible. In under ten minutes, we arrived in the emergency lane of the hospital. I jumped out of the car and got Bella out, not even bothering to turn off the car or to park. Running up to the front desk in the most humanly way possible, I heard a gasp come out of the receptionist and her asking for a stretcher to come through a wakie takie.**

**"what happened?" she asked seriously, looking at Bella with concern.**

**" I don't know what happened, I just found her like this." I made up. The stretcher came and I placed her on top of it. I was starting to follow where they were taking Bella, when I read the receptionist's mind quickly.**

_**Is it just me or is he acting suspicious? I wonder if he...wait, What am I saying? Dr. Cullen's kids are wonderfuly nice kids. Maybe its his contacts that got me the over edge**_**.**

**Contacts? I questioned. I turned my head to be faced with a window. I started at my reflection, now knowing what the receptionist was talking about. Everything was normal about me, but one slight detail. Instead of my normal golden colored eyes, they were replaced with liquid red.**

**Alice's POV**

**I was just relaxing, since I finished hunting early, when I saw it. In my vision, I saw Edward and Bella in there meadow. Edward was hurting her, he was happy, his eyes red from her blood. Then I saw him holding Bella in his arms, crying. And Bella, lying in a hospital bed. I came back shaking from the sobs I was trying to hold in.**

**"Carlisle." I whispered. He appeared in front of me, along with everyone else. " what happened Alice? Did you see something?". I nodded slightly and said "it's Bella".**


	3. Waiting

Edward's POV

I waited. I waited for an update on how she was, if she was ok. I called Charlie already, who was in La Push visiting Billy black. Now I had nothing to do but sit in a chair and wait, with each minute ticking by sluggishly. All the while the days events replayed in my head, each time more agonizing and maddening than the next. I just couldn't understand how it all happened. I was perfectly fine at first, but then this urge to have her over came me, it was like there was no other way out but doing what I wanted. I sighed in frustration when I saw my family walking towards me.

They all looked shocked when they saw that my eyes weren't there usual golden color.

Alice was the first to speak, each word drenched with concern " How's Bella doing?".

"I don't know, she's in a room and last time I checked, no one has seen her." I stated. "Well," Carlisle said" I'll go see if she has a doctor already. Everyone stay here, but Edward I want you to go to my office. I want to talk privately with you." I nodded slightly and started to walk through the hallways towards his office. I entered and sat down on a brown leather chair.

A few minutes later, Carlisle came in and sat down behind his mahogany desk, looking at me with a worried look. He was about to say something when I interrupted

" I don't know what came over me Carlisle, I..."

I stopped trying to organize my thoughts

"Edward, I understand if you lost control, all I want to know is what happened." he said calmly. I started to retell the story, looking at the carpeted floor the entire time, feeling ashamed of what had happened. At the end, I stared at Carlisle to see his expression was blank. We sat there in silence.

" How is she?" I asked, sounding inaudible to any human ears that could be listening. " She's has a few broken ribs and had to get a few stitches. She also has multiple bruises. Other than that there nothing to worry about."

I chuckled

" 'Nothing to worry about'?" I retorted " I could have killed her!How can I not worry about that!"

"Edward, please understand when I say that what happened was just an accident. You can't be holding your self guilty to something that you would never actually do."

"But, I could have stopped it from happening, that's why I feel guilty!" I spat back, venom coating every word. Images of the ways I could kill Carlisle filled my mind, but they stopped when we heard a light knock on the door. "Enter." Carlisle commanded. Alice poked her head inside and looked at us, noticing how tense that was in the room.

"It's Bella, she wants to talk to you Edward." she said quietly. I stood up and walked to the door and looked back at Carlisle. We stared at each other, our glares talking for us. He knew I would never agree with him, but he wouldn't give in easily either.

I walked out the door and went around looking for the room Alice told me Bella was in. All the while, more guilt slide into my counsine as I started to remember who I reacted, wanting so badly to kill Carlisle. I finally arrived at room C16 and I knocked on the door.

Inside I heard a voice feebly say "Come in". I slowly turned the doorknob to the side and opened the door.


	4. Author's note

**Author's note!**

**ok, i just got un-grounded from something that i will not explain (only some will already know). so im sorry its taken so long for me to write something up, but i think i wont be posting for a while now cause im not only getting ready for testing,but UIL( for those not in choir or band, its a compitition) and im doing tons of rehersals for the school musical(along with stress from the reason i got grounded...), but ill try to write as much as possible without any writers block(doubt that) and ill try to update soon.**

**love,**

**tHe MaD hAtTrEsS oF wOnDeRlAnD**


	5. Awakening

**author's note: well im posting up the next chapter for this baby and the next will be back in eddie's pov!and if you saw the update on my profile you would have seen that ive given you a few details on a new coven in my fanfic that will later be introduced(also next chp, you will meet another charecter.) also, i must say that im dedicating this chp. to my friend foxly. shes the one who gets me off my butt to write more and i would honestly like to say im sorry if you are angry at me. this one for you! so i hope ya'll (yes i just said ya'll) enjoy this and PLZ REVIEW! THAT ALSO GETS ME OFF MY ASS TO WRITE AND IF YOU DO REVIEW, ILL THANK YOU IN MY NEXT CHAPTER!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, THE AMAZING AND KICK ASS STEPHENIE MEYER DOES!( SHE KICKS MORE ASS THAN CHUCK NORRIS!...ACTAULLY NO, BUT SHE KICKS ASS)**

Bella's POV

There was rapid darkness, then a sudden rush of blinding light.

All I could hear was beeping, surrounding me. I felt an excess amount of oxygen flowing through my nostrils.

Oh shit. I was in the hospital. Wait, why was I in the hospital?

I went through all the things that happened today in my head, but I came up blank. My eyes finally adjusted and I raised my hand to yank the tubes out of my nose, when, in mid air, my arm was stopped by a cold, white hand. I looked up to see Carlisle above me with a warm, kind smile.

"Let me do that for you" he said politely. He went closer to my head and carefully removed the tubes. It was a complete relief to be able to breathe on my own again. Looking back at Carlisle again, I saw him writing steadily on a clipboard.

"Why am I here?" I asked looking around the dull room. He looked up and towards me.

"Well, you have some broken ribs and you had to get a few stitches. Along with a few bruises too."

"No!" I whined, shaking my head, making me dizzy. "I mean why I am here in the hospital in the first place?"

As soon as I asked again, his face dropped and I could tell that he was thinking about what he was going to say, trying to be cautious. His mouth opened to start his explanation when the door busted open. We look towards it to see Charlie holding onto the door frame, gasping for air, like he ran all the way here. When he finally looked up, his panicked eyes went straight to mine and he let out a sigh of relief.

Was what happened to me really that bad?

"Bella! As soon as I got Edward's call, I got Jacob to rush me over here." He said walking towards me. He grabbed a close by chair, dragged it towards my bedside and grabbed my hand. "I just can't believe that you were…mugged. "

As soon as he said it, I started to remember. The pain, the tears, my screaming. Everything passed in my head in fast-forward, but it all came out in a dark blur, as if I was looking at them through murky water. But the complete shock was still there.

By the time I snapped out of it, I noticed Carlisle had excused himself for a meeting and Charlie was at a verge of tears, making it the first time I saw him like this, completely broken.

"Ya' know Jacob is out in the waiting room with the rest of the Cullens. Their worrying about you like crazy. And that's me saying it without having seen Edward. He must be completely torn inside, like me." He sniffled. Edward. I haven't even thought of him till then. He must be in so much pain from this. And guessing from him calling Charlie, he must have been the one who found me. I could already imagine it, him holding me in his arms, dry sobbing. And knowing Edward, he probably wants revenge.

"Bella," Charlie said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "I swear I'm gonna find the guy who did this to you and put him behind bars."

Great, now I have two guys who want revenge!

"Do you remember how this guy looked like?" he asked.

"Um…" I tried hard to clear my memories, but I couldn't clear the picture of the man. All I got was a major headache. "Not really." I answered quietly.

"Well. I'm gonna call down to the station and file a report for now. I'll be back later to check on you" he stood up and started to walk out the room. He was about to walk out the door when I hollered.

"wait!" He stopped and looked back. "Do you think you can find Edward and tell him to come here?"

"Sure sweetie." He smiled and left. I had to talk to Edward, tell him that if he had any ideas of finding the man responsible for this and get his revenge, to just drop it. But how will I get Edward to follow with what I say? That's when I heard a light knock on my door.

I couldn't help but smile a little as I said "come in.".

The door then slowly opened.


	6. Voices

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK SO HERE IS THE FABULOS NEXT CHAPTER TO THIS BABY AND NEXT ILL WHIP UP THE SECOND CHP FOR THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT(ALTHOUGH I RLY WANT TO WRITE MORE OF THIS. I FINALLY GOT TO THE GOOD PART AND AFTER THIS I GET TO THE BEST PART!).NOW IF YOU HAVE NOTICED I CHANGED THE FIRST CHAPTHER TO A LESS GRAPHIC VERSION WITH A DIFFRENT THING HAPPENING, SO I SUGGEST FOR PPL WHO HAVENT READ IT TO GO BACK AND READ IT NOW(IF U WANT TO KNOW WHY I CHANGED IT, READ THE UPDATE OF MY PROFILE). ALSO I GOT MY FIRST BAD REVIEW EVER AND IT WAS FOR THIS STORY. IT SEEMS THE LADY WHO WROTE IT DOESNT LIKE WHAT I DO TO EDWARD, WICH I UNDERSTAND CUZ SHES TEAM EDWARD, SO SHE WOULDNT LIKE THESE THINGS. BUT I MUST REPEAT I AM A HUGE TEAM EDWARD FAN! I ONLY DO THIS CUZ I'VE THOUGHT OF EDWARD AS A CHARECTER THAT CAN BE MADE INTO DIFFRENT THINGS IN DIFFRENT SITUATIONS AND I LOVE TO DO THAT. HONESTLY I DONT LIKE WAT I PUT EDWARD THROUGH, BUT I DO IT FOR THE FUN OF IT! ALSO IF U ARE THE REVIEWER WHO SENT THAT REVIEW READ THIS: U SAID THAT UR GOING TO CONTINUE READING TO SEE HOW IT GOES. I SUGGEST U TO STOP READING THIS CUZ WHAT HAPPENS TO EDWARD WILL GET WORST, EVEN THOUGH BY THE END EVERYTHING WILL BE OK AND NORMAL AND HAPPY. SO YOUR CHOICE, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS YOU HAVE TO CLIMB OVER A MOUNTAIN TO GET TO THE VALLEY. NOW BEFORE I LET U GUYS ENJOY THE NEW CHP. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANKS TO FOXLY,Mystery Girl 01, AND PSYCO17 FOR REVIEWING! YOU GUYS WERE MY GUIDENCE IN WRITING. ALSO I WANNA WELECOME MY FRIEND RAMIE TO FOR SEE HAS MADE AN ACCOUNT! AND LASTLY (AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF SHES READING THIS. IF SHE ISN'T WELL SHE CANT BLAME ME CUZ I WONT LET HER READ IT) I WANNA THANK EMILY. SHES THE ONE WHO GOT ME TO WRITE, AFTER SHE READ MY SHORT STORY IN 7TH GRADE AND SAID " I COULD BE MY GENERATIONS STEPHENIE MEYER". THANK YOU!XD. NOW I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE CHP AND PLZ REVIEW PPL! I FEED ON YOUR REVIEWS!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, THE AMAZING AND KICK ASS STEPHENIE MEYER DOES!( SHE KICKS MORE ASS THAN CHUCK NORRIS!...ACTAULLY NO, BUT SHE KICKS ASS)**

Edward's POV

Before I went in, I put on Emmett's sunglasses. I didn't want Bella to see my eyes, it would just frighten her. I opened the door slowly and peered my head inside to see that she was looking towards me, smiling. "hey." She said calmly. I took in a deep unneeded breath and walked in.

"Bella, I…" I stopped abruptly. The words I wanted to say were stuck in my throat. It felt as if all the air in the room was replaced with waves of panic, horror, and fright. A human would have already collapsed on the floor, I just feel on my knees at her bed side.

"Are you ok? She asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, Bella I just can't believe I couldn't stop this." I said not daring to look at her. I heard her laugh a little.

"Edward," she cooed. It felt her warm soft hand on my left cheek. It felt so good against my cold face, almost blissful. She turned my face towards her. And I waited, either for her to yell that she never wanted to see me or to cry, for her to hate me. "There was probably nothing you could have done to stop this. What's important is that I'm ok, and there's nothing to worry about."

I scoffed. "Bella, it's my entire fault. If I…"

"Shhh!" she interrupted. "Edward! Look it's not your fault that the man who did this got away with it. I just want…"

"Wait!" I said. Did she not remember who hurt her? Did she not know it was me?

"Do you not remember who it was?"

"No" she stated. "Just promise me you won't go looking for this guy, who ever or where ever he is."

"Sure" I said in a daze.

"Good" she smiled "now can you please tell me why you're wearing sunglasses? Inside?"

"Oh!" shit, I didn't know what to say "um, Emmett wants to make a band and he wants me to join. We all have to wear sunglasses now."

A few hours later, Bella had fallen asleep from her pain medication and I was sitting in the seat next to the bed, in the same daze I was before. She knows what happened to her, but she doesn't know it was me. I could have told her, I should have, but something in me made me hold it on. I'd tell her some day, but not yet.

I looked over at my sleeping angel. Her not remembering was sorta a miracle. It gave me a little more time in her presence. The presence of someone so beautiful and caring, I was too lucky to be with her, I thought.

I stroke her hair. her wild brown hair, her curious brown eyes, her soft fair skin, her delicious red blood…

wait, did I really just think that?

I wouldn't think like that, although its true and it felt amazing when her warm blood would go down my throat, soothing it from my thirst. I stood up rapidly and walked away from the bed, trying to stop these unwanted thoughts, when my back hit the wall. The pungent smell of her blood was all around me, making venom pool in my mouth. My throat was getting drier by the second from the thirst and I knew by now my eyes where darker than the night sky. I had to get out, but I couldn't, I was utterly paralyzed. All I wanted to do was bite into her and suck her dry, but I couldn't.

Then again, it wouldn't hurt to have a sip?

By then I was already at her side, her arm in my hands. Then I swiftly bit into it. I heard her whimper, but I didn't care. All I could care about was the sweet relief of her blood. I didn't even care that her heart beat was getting fainter and fainter. My happiness stopped when I got tackled on the floor.

Emmett and Jasper had me pinned down on each side, while Carlisle connected a bag of blood to Bella and started to suck my venom out of her.

"Let go of me! I want her!" I yelled ravenously, trying to bite at my brothers' necks.

"Get him out of here, now!" Carlisle shouted. They started to drag me out by force when a familiar voice said "what's going on?" sleepishly.

We all looked at the bed to see Bella wake and looking at me on the floor. Her eyes went wide and gasped her horror evident on her face. That's when I snapped back and noticed that my sunglasses were across from me on the floor, broken.

She could see my red eyes.

I stood up, shaking Jasper's and Emmett's hands off of me.

"I'm sorry." I apologized and I ran out of the hospital, not caring if I was using my vampire speed or not, and to my car. I grabbed onto it tightly, my fingers making dents on the roof. I didn't want to let go, afraid that if I did, I would fall apart. I could see my reflection in the window, but I didn't dare look at it, because I knew a monster would be looking back. I felt like smashing it into million shards of broken glass and was about to when I heard a voice "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I turned around, but no one was there. Looking around the entire parking lot, the only people I saw were far away from me, too far to know what I was doing.

"Who are you?" I asked cautiously.

"Who I am isn't important." It said. The voice was of a man, but it wasn't normal, it wasn't _human_. I growled and started to get ready to attack if needed.

"Show yourself!" I shouted.

He chuckled and explained "that won't do anything. You can't see me, not yet at least." I got out of my defensive stance. I couldn't understand what was going on.

"Of course you don't." the mysterious voice responded. How did he know what I was thinking?

"I know because I'm in your mind." My eyes went wide at the thought of what he said.

"strange isn't, just like all the other things you've done lately." He amused. I turned around again towards my car and opened it, wanting just to get away from all this. Getting in, my eyes caught sight of my reflection in the rearview mirror. I looked at it to see I wasn't the one looking back, it was someone else.

It was another me, a newer one. One that's dangerous, aggressive, and unstoppable. He was stronger, faster, and darker.

I was changing.

What's happening to me?


	7. HEAD FOR THE HILLS! ITS AN AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHORS NOTE: I MUST WARN YOU THAT YOU SHOULD START DREADING AND FORMING AN ANGRY MOB ITS LONG**

**IM ALMOST DONE WITH THE NEXT CHP. FOR MUSIC OF THE NIGHT AND I JUST STARTED WRITING FOR SIDE I NEVER KNEW. THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I NEED TO TALK ABOUT FOR SIDE I NVR KNEW(ABRAVIATION: SINK(LOLZ), BUT BEFORE THAT I WANT TO ANOUNCCE THAT IM GOING TO BE TAKING A SHORT,ONE-WEEK VACATION FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS. 1) BEFORE I WAS A FANFIC WRITER, I WAS A NORMAL ONE. I HAVENT WRITTEN A NORMAL STORY THAT I COULD SOME DAY HOPEFULLY PUBLISH, IN ABOUT A YEAR. SO A FEW DAYS AGO ONE OF MY FABULOSE,CREATIVE, KICK ASS FRIENDS( THAT RLY DOESNT NARROW IT DOWN)GAVE ME AN IDEA FOR A STORY AND SINCE THEN HAS BEEN ASKING HOW THE STORY IS GOING. AND IVE ALWAYS PAINFULLY HAVE TO SAY: I HAVENT STARTED. SO I RLY WANT TO START WRITING THAT. 2) I BASICLLY PUSH MYSELF TO WRITE THE NEW CHPS. RIGHT NOW AND THE MORE I PUSH, THE LESS I WRITE, AND THE MORE TIME IT TAKES TO UPDATE. SO THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY ON THAT(ALSO, THE LAST WEEK OF JULY I WILL NOT BE UPDATING CUZ ME AND MY DAD ARE GOING ON A LITTLE VACATION TO WASHINGTON DC FOR THE WEEK)**

**SO NOW THAT THATS CLEARED, I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT "SINK", SPECIFICLLY I HAVE AN EXPLANATION AND A QUICK COMMENT ON A FUNNY REVIEW. FIRST I HAVE TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING THATS COMING IN THE NEW CHP. I WAS WRITING LAST NIGHT AND I WAS RE-READING WHAT I HAD AND WHEN I GOT TO THIS ONE PART I STARTED TO THINK" SOME PEOPLE MIGHT THINK OF IT AS A DOUBLE MEANING". IN THE NEW CHP., THERE IS A POINT WERE EDWARD HEARS ANOTHER VOICE, THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT IS AN "EVIL TEMPTRESS", TRYING TO LURE HIM INTO DRINKING MORE HUMAN BLOOD. NOW AT FIRST YOU MIGHT THINK THAT ITS JUST EDWARD BEING INSANE, BUT POSSABLLY IN THE FUTURE, IF YOU THINK BACK, YOUR GONNA THINK THAT" OH, THATS WHEN SHE FIRST INTRODUCED SUCH AND SUCH". OK, YOU CAN INTURPRET IT ANY WAY YOU LIKE, ALTHOUGH WHEN I WROTE IT, IT WAS MENT TO BE LIKE HIS DEVIL ON HIS SHOLDER. BUT YOU CAN TAKE IT HOW YOU WANT. ALSO, IN THE LAST CHP. I GOT A REVIEW FROM SOMEONE SAYING "edward is loosing whatever sanity he had left". SO I MUST SAY THAT WE BOTH ARE GOING INSANE, AND MAYBE ITS FROM ALL THE CACTUS JUICE WE'VE BEEN DRINKING( ONLY PPL WHO WATCH AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER MIGHT GET THIS).ITS NOT OUR FAULTS ITS THIRST QUENCHING!(* ENTERS SOKKA AND STARTS WAVING ARMS UP AND DOWN * FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! GIANT MUSHY FRIEND!). BUT SERIOUSLY IM THINK IM JUST PARTILLY INSANE AND I TAKE OUT ALL MY INSANITY ON EDWARD. BUT I SWEAR I HATE WAT I MAKE HIM GO THROUGH, I DO. I MEAN HES LIKE ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE GUY CHARECTERS. AND IN ABOUT TWO CHAPTERS IM GONNA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING THATS PROBABBLY GONNA MAKE ME CRY WHILE WRITING IT...ITS JUST TOO MUCH!**

**SO THANKS FOR READING! LOVE YA!**

**MIAINWONDERLAND ^-^**


	8. Controled

**AUTHORS NOTE: SO IM FINALLY POSTING A NEW CHAPTER AND I HOPE YOU GUYS LOVE IT. I DONT KNOW WHEN I'LL UPDATE AGAIN, BUT I'LL TRY TO DO SO SOON. ALSO IF YOUR A READER OF MUSIC OF THE NIGHT, IM OFFICALLY PUTTING IT ON HIATUS BECAUSE I HAVE CHANGED THE STORY LINE AND I NEED TO REPLACE THE ALREADY EXISTING CHPS.**

**ALSO IF ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THIS STORY OR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN OR SOMTHING LIKE THAT, I WOULD BE GLAD TO ANSWER IT(AND DEPENDING ON THE QUESTIONS THAT I GET AND HOW MANY, I MIGHT ADD IN A Q/A OR SOMETHIN LIKE THAT, IRDK) SO ENJOY^-^**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR IT CHARECTERS, THE KICK ASS STEPHENIE MEYER DOES( SHE KICKS MORE ASS THAN CHUCK NORISS...OK, SHE DOESNT, BUT SHE STILL KICKS ASS!)**

Edward's POV

Three weeks.

Its been three weeks since the accident, three weeks since my meltdown.

That night, I drove home franticly. A few hours later, everyone else came back all of them checked up on me and at first I was calm, capable of having a peaceful conversation, but then I started to get irritated and angry for no reason, that I would try to rip them to pieces. I even remember trying to rip Emmett's head off. Soon, I just locked myself in my room, to put them out of my range of constant danger, but it didn't stop them from knocking once in a while, from Esme worrying every minute, from Alice sometimes standing at the door, waiting for me to come out or at least say something. The only time I actually left the room was to hunt, which is constant. Everyday I was thirsty for more blood, even thought I hunted heavily the previous night, and every night, hunting became more of a war between what was right or wrong. It was harder for me to just feed on animals now. There was always some humans close by, their blood singing to me, saying lustful things. I could never hold myself back. Then after my first kill, I would go to the closest populated area and go on a small killing spree. I even have the police looking for me, thinking I'm the serial killer from the Seattle murders.

I lifted my head from my knees and looked at my trashed room. Some of my furniture was broken, ripped pages out of books, even books ripped entirely in half, were scattered. My stereo was in shambles with my CD collection spewed across the floor in pieces. And the wall of windows was shattered, with glass surrounding it on the floor.

I felt like a newborn all over again,, only difference is that I'm losing my sanity along the way, all because of _him_.

_He_ was always there, mocking me, urging me to do more horrible things. But worse, he would remind me of Bella. Her face when she saw me on the hospital floor haunts me, and the things I've done to hurt her, my mistakes, reminded.

"Don't open the door" he abruptly said

Wait, what?

That's when somebody knocked on the door.

"Edward, its Bella. Please let me in." she begged. I sat still on the bed. Then I could hear faint clicking an the door swung open, showing Bella bent over with a lock pick in her hand.

"Stupid girl." the voice frowned.

Bella walked in and looked around the room, then at me. I didn't know if she was either worried or afraid of me. The only thing I could tell was that she was at the point of crying. The strange voice chuckled at the idea.

"Edward," Bella choked "Alice told me what was happening, but I didn't think it was this bad." there was a still silence. I knew she was waiting for a response, but I didn't want to speak, I was afraid that I would get angered again and do something I would regret. I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks now. She walked towards me.

"Just say something, please!" she pleaded, grabbing my hand. I took it away from her rapidly, as if she burnt me at the touch. She sat at the edge of the bed, staring at me in disbelief, with more tears coming from her hurt filled eyes. I know what I did was wrong, but I just need her to keep away from me.

"A long time ago," Bella started " you wanted me to think that you were a monster, that you were dangerous. But you also said you didn't want me to be afraid." she paused for a moment.

"I still don't think your a monster, but I am afraid. I'm afraid and worried, along with your family, about what's happening to you. We just want to know what's going on so we can help." she said. I stayed quiet, contemplating on what to do, whether telling her or any of them would just endanger them more or if they could even help me.

"Or" Bella added " at least tell me, so then I don't go insane." I chuckled at the irony of what she said.

"Bella" I finally said " I don't really know what's going on, but I-I'm..." The rest of the words were forcibly stuck in my throat. As much as I tried to say it, I couldn't.

" You can't tell her, and you wont want to" the voice threatened. " and if you try and can, the girl will suffer. You'll want to kill her since she'll know your secret. And you'll do it, slowly, toying with her" . Then the images popped in my head

I pounce, she screams.

Strike,

Drag,

Tears,

Bite.

Her blood, spilled on the wooden floor. Her cold, lifeless eyes.

"No!" I screamed abruptly as I abruptly stood up and backed away from the bed. Bella got up and walked to me slowly.

"Don't!" I yelled at her. She stopped mid-step.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"G-get ou-out!" I struggled to say

"What?" she said confused. I tried to tell her again, but an instant pain came to my head, making me loose all my concentration, my train of thought. All I wanted to do was just scream out from my torture, but I held it in. And just as quickly it came, it disappeared. I looked at Bella, who was cowering in fright and worry, and tried to comfort her, but what I wanted to say didn't follow out my mouth as spoken words. Then my body started to crouch down, ready to attack, as I growled in unison with him. Bella's eyes went wide.

It all started to connect.

I wasn't in control of my body anymore, _he_ was.

Then in the same evil, sadistic tone he had, I said " Do you wanna know the reason behind this? Its you. I wanted human blood for such a long time now, especially yours. Why else do you think I came back?"

I could see Bella's eyes filled with a tinge of pain. Inside her, I knew her heart was shattered into pieces.

"Bu-but I t-thought that..." She stuttered quietly. I scoffed at her as I left my defensive position.

"Did you really think I came back because I loved you? You stupid. naive girl! Why else do you think I did those things.". I stalked towards her slowly and when I closed the space between us, I placed my hand on her warm cheek, as I wiped a few tears away with my thumb. She adverted her eyes from me. The voice laughed at her.

"Like," I continued to her, softly whispering in her ear now. " the other day at the hospital. Or at the meadow the other night." That's when I knew I broke her completely. She stared into my eyes and I could see vividly the betrayal and hurt behind them. It was like when I left her for those dreaded months, but ten times worse. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms and say that I didn't mean any of these thing, that I never would have done them if it wasn't for him, to take all her sadness away.

But instead I laughed lightly at her tears.

Bella then pushed me aside and ran out of the room, at the verge of sobbing.

I just kept laughing.

It wasn't till I gained control of my body again that my laughter died and what had happened came to mind. Although it didn't work, my heart was leaden and felt heavily inside my chest.

I had just ruined the only things that made my life livable, hurt the only one I truly loved and would give my life for. She hated me, I knew it. And she could never forgive the things of done and said this time.

" Well that was highly enjoyable" the voice smirked in my head. I growled at both of us in pure hatred

I had to get out of this room, out of this house. I leaped out of my room through the window and out into the forest.


	9. Regrets

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I SOOOOOOOOOHAPPY THAT I COULD FINALLY POST SOMETHING! I MUST SAY THAT IVE BEEN SUPER BUSY, BUT ON THE SIDE WHEN EVER IVE HAD THE CHANCE IVE TYPED BITS AND PEICES FOR CHAPS ON MY KINDLE( I LOVE MY KINDLE^-^) BUT WINTER BREAK IS ON AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DO SO, IM FREE TO WRITE(THAT IS IF I DONT GET DISTRACTED *GIGGLES* SO I HOPE YA'LL LIKE THIS CHAPTER, AND IM EVEN HAPPY TO SAY THAT IM GONNA START TYPING THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR MUSIC OF THE NIGHT. AND PLEASE DONT BE SHY AND REVIEW, I LOVE ME SOME COMMENTS ON HOW THE STORIES GOING. SO ONCE AGAIN, ENJOY YA'LL AND ALSO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR IT CHARECTERS, THE KICK ASS STEPHENIE MEYER DOES( SHE KICKS MORE ASS THAN CHUCK NORISS...OK, SHE DOESNT, BUT SHE STILL KICKS ASS!)**

Bella's POV

The road was blurred from my tears as I swiveled slightly. I knew I should have stopped or at least wipe my tears away, but I had to get far away from _him_.

Funny, how I can't even say his name any more. A name I once adored, that I would love letting it slip past my lips. Now I can't even say it, think it. Now that I knew how he hurt me.

Now that I knew he never loved me.

My thoughts were stopped as the silence in my truck was replaced by a whirlwind of sound. Music notes and keys swirled in the air, combining into a melody I knew so well.

It was my lullaby. _His_ ringtone.

I looked over on the other seat to see the screen of my phone lighting up in the darkness. It showed a picture of us together, smiling and happy, while his name ran across the bottom of the screen. I just stared at it, not moving to pick it up. As soon as I stopped ringing, I snatched it up and turned it off.

I didn't want to talk to him. _He_ should know that.

By the time I reached home, I probably had multiple messages on my phone, but I didn't care. I got out and slammed the door behind me and walked as fast as I could to my front door without falling. I walked in the house, hearing cheers from the living room. Coming in closer, I saw Charlie and Jake on the sofa, reacting from what I'm guessing was an amazing play, while Billy sat next to them, laughing in slight disbelief. It wasn't till commercial break that they calmed down and noticed me home.

Charlie smiled and said " Hey bells, what's..." Then he stopped and his smile disappeared, replaced with worry and slightly anger.

"What happened at The Cullen's?"

its then when it hit me that I made a mistake, that I forgot something. I should have wiped the tears away from my eyes. I scrambled to make up a reply but all I could come up with was" Nothing. Nothing happened".

But everyone knew it was a lie. Charlie was about to reply when I darted up the stairs as fast as I could and locked myself in my room. Leaning against the door, I didn't know whether I was breathing heavily from hurrying or if I was about to start sobbing. I knew the answer as I was walking to my bed, I collapsed next to it. The tears cascaded down my cheeks without stop as each sob racked through me. I didn't know how to stop, but at the same time, I didn't want to. I raised my head when I heard knocking.

"Go away" I said, trying to sound as if nothings wrong, which wasn't successful. But the knock returned. With the second time, I noticed that it wasn't coming from behind the bedroom door, but from outside my window. My breathing quickened as I panicked. It was _him_, I knew it. I heard the window slowly slide open, cursing mentally for not checking if it was locked. Then there was silence, but I knew I wasn't alone.

"Bella?"

I stood up and turned around to be faced with a worried Jacob. I adverted my eyes from his.

"Go away Jake, I wanna be alone" I demanded. But he didn't move for the slightest, just stared at me.

" I'm not leaving till you tell me what's going on Bella" he responded.

I grunted in aggravation and went at him, trying to push him out. But it didn't work, not only because I wasn't strong enough to move him, but with every shove, I wasn't trying as much, until I noticed that I was hugging him, letting me cry on his chest as he was trying to sooth me, calming me down.

" I just can't believe he did all this to me." I slightly mumbled. That's when I felt him become rigged and he started to shake slightly.

" What did that leech do?" he asked through clenched teeth

"Nothing, we just had a big fight" I made up, looking up at him.

"Bella," he warned " Was he the reason why you were in the hospital?"

"Jake..." I didn't know how to respond, but with saying nothing I already did.

" That son of a..." He yelled, but he stopped short from how violently he was shaking.

"Jake!" I yelled out, attempting him to stop from transforming. "He's not worth all of this"

he looked at me, seeing my face. "Please, don't do anything that might turn into a regret." I pleaded. He finally started to stop.

"Fine, I wont. For your sake." he said quietly.

I smiled a little and yawned. He looked down at me and laughed

" Looks like you should be going to bed, Missy" he joked. Laughing lightly, I walked towards my dresser, taking out all I needed and I turned around to see Jake starting to climb out the window.

"Wait!" I called out, stopping him with one foot outside. "Can you stay tonight, please?" I asked embarrassed.

"Sure Bells" he smiled widely, coming back inside and closing the window. I walked out into the hall, leaving him there.

I got out of the bathroom, feeling slightly better after a long shower, wringing my hair out with a towel. I opened the door, expecting to see Jake, but instead no one was there.

* * *

Edward's POV

"...Please Call me, I hope you understand..." I ended the call and starred at the screen for a few seconds. It was my fourth message I left, out of countless times I called. After a while it went straight to her voicemail.

She turned it off, she didn't want me to talk to her. She hates me. And she should, after how I acted towards her. How the monster made me act.

I felt emptiness inside, but it was an emptiness that would hurt every time I thought of what I did to Bella. When every I remembered her face, filled with pain and betrayal. I sat on the forest floor, not knowing what to do, how to fix something I broke. I only had one idea.

To leave. Go far away from this place. It would be better for every one. I wouldn't be able to hurt my family or...Bella. It might even be for my own good as well. Ever since I left my house, he disappeared. Maybe it was the place that was doing all this. The more I thought about the idea, the more a plan became made in my mind. I'd run back to the house, gather some of my belongings, and leave without anyone's consent. I stood up, ready to run back, when I heard it.

"_Edward, Edward_..." A girl's voice whispered to me from behind. I turned around to see nothing and yet I still heard the hypnotic voice, calling me. With each call, the more I came under its spell. The wind started to blow towards it, as if pushing my forward to follow it.

And I did, willingly.


End file.
